Don’t Cry For Me, Wednesday One-Liners
Conductor: Hey, no crying on the train! No crying on the train! –1 train Man: I make people cry, and you tickle them. –Wall St Girl: You’re making me wanna shed mad tears! –Lower East Side Mom to young...
View ArticleEspecially the Grass-Stained Knees
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.Blond friend: Guys like that look. –Chelsea Piers Overheard by: MtZ
View ArticleDon't Hate the Wednesday One-Liner, Hate the Game
(a pigeon flies up to a rambling bike messenger)Bike messenger: Hey, bird. Whadda ya say? How you doing? You play baseball? What position? First base? Third? Catcher? –47th & Madison Ditzy teen on...
View ArticleThe Yankees Really Need to Hire Some Vicious British Soccer Hooligans
Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone! She's hot! Leave her alone!Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!Red Sox girl's friend: She's got big boobs, leave...
View ArticleYour Editors Do Not Wish to Get Involved in This
Pilot: We are now arriving in at JFK airport in New York City, home of the Yankees.Met fan: That's not right…(yelling) What about the Mets?Pilot: No one cares.Rest of passengers: (cheering) –Jet Blue...
View ArticleMax Finally Comes Out to His Father As Straight
Dad: So, that wasn't so bad was it?Young son: I guess, but I'd still rather be watching the Jets game. –Coming out of Wicked, Broadway
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners: “Is This Thing On?”
PA system: Leia, please meet your party at the front. Leia, not the princess, please meet your party at the front. –Bed, Bath & Beyond, 18th & 6th Overheard by: Rebecca Announcer over...
View ArticleClose, but No Cigar
NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.NYU guy #2: Um, not really. –Waverly Pl
View ArticleWithout NYU Football, You Had to Get Her Pregnant
White thug: Yeah, so she's knocked up.White thug #2: Look on the bright side, nigga, at least the Giants won.White thug #3: Damn, yo, NYU isn't even a real college. –Mercer & Waverly Place
View ArticleActually They’re Named For the 80’s Girl Group
New York girl: Wait, who are the Bengals?Cincinnati girl: Our football teamNew York girl: Wow, that sucks, to be named after a kind of bracelet. –Columbia University Overheard by: leilah
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